Fight On...

Fight On

So I probably should have been in bed a good while ago, but I was waiting for laundry and wasting my life playing the xbox. Late at night I usually do my thinking, more just processing things in my exhaustion. My song on my profile is "Fight On" by The Black Suits. My friends Shane and Kyle were the main people in the band. Shane died this past spring break while on a mission trip in the Dominican Republic. I just started thinking about him, all of the things he has missed since hes been gone, and it makes me so sad. I am a week and a day from graduating from Freed-Hardeman and ending the chapter of the last three of years of my life. Who knew I would be where I am today. I am so blessed. I take so much for granted. I was less than 100 miles from the Dominican when he died, swept out to sea by the waves. We were in Puerto Rico on a mission trip of our own. We didnt go into the water that day because it was too rough. Im crying now, not because I feel guilt or the other emotions that can be detrimental to oneself, but I cry because I miss my good friend. I got to write the lead story in the Bell Tower (student newspaper I am editor of at FHU). His girlfriend, best friend, and even his dad called and told me how much they appreciated it. It meant so much to me. I have never lost anybody close to me before. It stinks for sure. I wont ever forget him. I just have to do what I need to do so that I can hang out with him again one day, for eternity. It puts everything in perspective, especially at almost 3am. I still havent heard if I have gotten my graduate assistantship at UGA, much less if I am even accepted. The dreams that I have for my future seem so stupid and mundane. I have an awesome girl now who means the world to me. I have an opportunity to do some long term mission work. I want to have a career and a family, but at the same time, I could pass on tomorrow. Life is just but a vapor. I dont know if I should feel guilty for thinking about the future and want to be here for it. I guess all I can do is just fight on..